


It was just a glimpse of you

by jperalta



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Malcolm Bright Gets a Hug, Malcolm Bright Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jperalta/pseuds/jperalta
Summary: *spoilers for ep. 19, "The Professionals"A different ending to The Professionals because Malcolm needed to be held and hugged and helped, not the other thing!!// Please always let me know if there are any additional tags that should be added. // I didn't mark graphic depiction of violence because it's not that extreme (to me at least - let me know if I am wrong!) but there is a description involving blood in paragraph 4.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	It was just a glimpse of you

Malcolm sat on the end of the table, the last of a long trail of drinks between his fingers. He couldn’t remember how much he had had to drink. He couldn’t seem to remember anything except Eve - her soft eyes floating in his mind, her laugh ringing in his ears, the feeling of their lips against each other. All of it was mixed together with this horrible feeling in his stomach. He tried his best to keep from crying. Why did he always do his best to keep from crying? He took in a breath, as if that would help anything, but of course it didn’t. Sadness, grief, anger - all these terrible sensations being stirred around inside of him. Alcohol wasn’t fixing anything yet he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted to forget everything, but it only seemed to make it worse. The pressure was building in his forehead.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he mumbled, mostly to himself but slightly to the face that was half-formed across the room. Eve’s - of course it was Eve’s. She was all he could think about anymore. Her blue drowned head reattached itself to every memory he had of the two of them, and he was powerless as every loving image he had was replaced. The only image left was the one floating in front of him, Eve in a glowing white dress, smiling at him. It was horrifying and tempting, completely unfair to him. All of his life he tried to do everything right, he tried to help her as much as he could, and yet he still ended up heartbroken. He would always be destined to be so unhappy, and those he loved would always be fated to suffer, just for the act of being close to him.

“I need you to go,” he choked out, his voice shaking and his breathing coming through staggered. But she didn’t go, of course. She got clearer, more defined, and moved closer towards him. It was like he could feel her presence tearing his mind apart. His whole body was starting to quiver. “I said go!” He yelled into the dark. But she didn’t. And it was all becoming far too overwhelming. He buried his hand into his hands, and the burning tears finally started spilling over. He heaved sobs so gut wrenching into the air that if he cared he’d be worried about the neighbors or the people on the street hearing him. But he didn’t care, he just continued to cry and scream. His bones were shaking and he didn’t think that it would ever end.

He stood up slowly and stumbled back to the liquor, poured himself another drink and downed it quickly before pulling the entire bottle to his lips. He took a long and heavy breath full of burning liquid. And she was still there - floating beside him. “Please leave me alone.” He crashed to the ground and the bottle broke in his hand. “I can’t take it…” The blood started flowing from his arm and he stared at the jagged bottleneck in his hand. It was so easy to tear through his flesh. It could all be over. Maybe then she’d finally leave. Maybe then he’d finally be free from it all. He gripped the glass tighter, an edge cutting into his skin more, and he continued to cry. He hadn’t felt this lost and confused and upset in a long time, and it would all only end when his life finally did. The loss of blood and the amount of alcohol in his system was making him more and more dizzy by the second, and before he could contemplate doing anything else, he was losing his vision and fading in and out of consciousness.

“Malcolm! Malcom, please…” He hadn’t heard the door busted open. He hardly saw Dani’s face before she rushed over to him, calling to Gil to get him an ambulance as he thanked the neighbor who had called them after hearing the screaming that had started a little bit ago. She plucked the glass from his grasping hand and threw it across the room as she held him in her arms. “Don’t you even fucking think about it…” She muttered to him, all too familiar with that hopeless crazed look in his eyes. “You’re gonna be okay, Bright, just stay awake, okay?”

But he shook his head at her. “It’s not okay,” he garbled. “It’s not…” Malcolm felt her hand in his hair and it felt like the only thing connecting him to this reality. But Eve was still there, shimmering silently over their heads.

“It will be. Just hold on.”

He shook his head again. “You don’t understand.” When he opened his eyes all he saw was Eve, so he squeezed them shut. But it didn’t matter, she was still there in his mind. “I… I can’t stop seeing her.” Dani was quiet, and he knew she thought he was absolutely losing it, completely and forever. “Eve… I can’t stop seeing her. She’s everywhere. Oh God…” He scrunched his face up more and let himself weep again. Dani lifted his body and held onto him tighter, linking her hands behind him. He clawed at the back of her shirt and buried his face in her shoulder. “I can’t do it,” he said softly.

“I know, Malcolm, I know. You’re going to get help. We’re going to help you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title: "Afterlife" - Arcade Fire


End file.
